Thursday, January 22, 2015

When I get "unfriended"

I’m not hurt by those that unfollow me on Facebook. But I am hurt when people unfriend me. I admit it.

I have two FB accounts. This is strictly forbidden by FB, and if I get caught, FB will delete one of the accounts. But because of my work, this is how it must be. What a shame that Facebook doesn't make adding friends to different lists, and posting only to certain lists, as easy as GooglePlus.

I’ve unfollowed a LOT of my Facebook friends on my personal account, for various reasons: I don't like their constant posting of prayer requests, petitions, memes, right-wing politics... if you post more of these than posts about your family, what you're doing, or what you've done, I'll probably unfollow you. But I won't unfriend you. These folks are still my friends, on FB and off. By unfollowing, while I don’t get their updates in my newsfeed anymore, I can still go look at their FB pages and see what they’re up to if I’m so inclined.

I’m also not offended by those that chose to follow me on my milquetoast, never-controversial “pro” FB account, rather than what I consider my "real me" one - that pro account is for professional colleagues and those that I think are too wimpy for the real me. At least, if you choose that account to friend instead of the real me, you still want to be connected in some way.

I know I can be overwhelming on my personal FB. But it's the real “me” most people never get to see. This very real “me” is reserved for people who I like or, at least, used to like at some point in my life. When you unfriend me, without a word of why, it hurts. And it makes me not want to be around you offline.

So, yeah, if I'm overwhelming you, unfollow me. If you unfriend me, I'll take it as a statement you don't want to be offline either. And if that's what you intend, well, okay then.

Oh, and if I do unfriend you - yeah, I’m PISSED OFF. And have probably told you explicitly why. Unfriending isn't a casual thing with me - it's quite deliberate.

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